Several years ago I wrote a blogg that dealt with the subject of our parents being right after all and how, with hard earned experience and chastened by failures we finally bow down to their wisdom. By parents of course I mean anyone in authority and this includes the medical profession.
In that last blogg I talked about caving in to the fact that porridge is good for you. I spent some time trying to like it and had it every morning for several months. I finally gave up trying and now eat my favourite breakfast instead -fried tomato slice and cheese on gluten free bread. I decided that pleasure in life is worth more than high fiber. I am now content-though not necessarily regular.
This blogg ,thank goodness, isn't about porridge. It is about not sleeping.
For the past few years I have been struggling with the lack of sleep and trying to cope with three to four hours sleep.
Every night I approached my bed with dread in my heart anticipating the nightly battle. My first reaction on entering the bedroom at bedtime was always "Oh no- it is that time already"-it seems that I just left it". The bed became my enemy. It's ability to tie itself into uncomfortable knots with blankets, pillows and sheets seemed purposely designed to frustrate me. In the following long hours I battled with these -throwing pillows and blankets about and eventually tossing them on the floor. Sheets were like reptiles wrapping around me until I was unable to move. I eventually solved the sheet problem by investing in sleeping bags. This did not help much but at least I could move. Move I did, tossing from side to side, continually checking the clock as it slowly crawled around to morning. Waiting and watching for a pot to boil is nothing compared to watching a clock inching snail like to dawn-blessed dawn. But that too has mixed blessings because then one knows the day will drag just as slowly with foggy brain, tired muscles and joints exhausted because of lack of sleep.
I tried various recommendations. There was meditation-not helpful in my case. Then there was relaxation- one relaxes muscles starting from toes and working upwards. Very ineffective. Relaxing baths are recommended. Dark curtains, peaceful surroundings, no distractions and soft music were also suggested. None of these worked. The use of computers, television and other technical devises near bedtime is apparently a no-no which was emphatically endorsed by the medical community. If you really needed an activity that requires plugging an electric appliance into a socket- ironing is recommended, preferably men's dress shirts. That may tire you sufficiently for sleep but otherwise nothing exciting and pleasurable before entering the sleep chamber. There is one activity that is recommended. I will not go into it. We all know that one.
I did argue passionately with my doctor to give me sleeping pills-you know-the little blue half pill we all love-virtuously pleading that I do not have an addictive personality . My charming handsome doctor was surprisingly adamant in his refusal.
The most consistent recommendation though by all those in authority,especially by physicians is to abstain from alcohol in the evening. For a long time I ignored this advice until due to illness it was necessary to forgo my favourite evening glasses of red. O K-It worked. I admit it. There were nights when I clocked in nine to ten hours sleep. It is true. One feels better after a long healing sleep and I enjoyed the feeling of wellness.
The need to abstain from alcohol has lifted for me now and the question-the very big question is-do I decide that the feeling of wellness is more important than the pleasure of enjoying my glass of red? Or will that feeling of wellness due to eight hour sleep go the way of regularity from eating high fiber porridge? Will I choose bright bag less eyes, a happy disposition, long hours of healing sleep by abstaining from my glass of red along with healthy regularity by eating the hated porridge or will I like so many of my fellow human beings make wrong minded choices - in my case- sleeplessness and irregularity?? Whatever I decide to do, I must not -and note this carefully my readers-ask those in authority to help me make the decision. I will make it all by myself. This is a free country, we are adults with free will and the right to choose-badly or not. The choice is ours-rather mine now -and no,I will not tell you my decision/
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