BLOG # 59 YUMMMM TAX TIME

Yummm- My favourite- Tax time! Yes, dear readers, it has happened again- my favourite time of the year- as sure as taxes itself- Tax Time. As you can imagine, I have a long and loving relationship with the taxation department- probably the most consistent relationship of my life. It started in my early twenties. I believe the first time I filed one was when I was working in Montreal in the fifties. Yes, taxation existed even in that ancient time-I must have done the filing on my own-it is all rather in the dim past- but the reason I remember is that I was planning a long extended trip to Europe and being a good Canadian I filed my taxes before I left. I spent the next six months in carefree bliss hitching hiking around Europe with my friend and when the money was depleted returned to London to work. I then picked up my mail from the American express- that is what we did in those “olden times” dear readers- no emails, no computers. With the mail were several letters from the Quebec provincial taxation office complete with a court order to show up. The amount was $1.89. I had made a mistake- a habit I have continued faithfully to this day whenever I am foolish enough to do my own taxes-and the tax department demanded instant payment. I wrote a long letter of explanation along with a postal note for the amount – I can’t remember what I had to pay for this transaction, but I remember adding up the postage stamps the taxation office spent on their notices and it equaled the amount owing. The next few years I resided in Greece so had no further interaction with this institution and when I returned to Canada I used a professional service- the only irritation I had was I could not claim childcare expenses though having to support my family. When I retired it seemed prudent to do my own again and my dear friend told me the taxation office had a new program one could use by phone which was free! All you had to do was follow instructions and they would walk you through the procedure and so I decided to do it. Well dear readers, there I was, phone in one hand, volumes of tax papers in the other, and T-slips, bills etc falling on the floor. The program was taped- no patient understanding human voice - just a monotone consistent one giving me instructions to put “T-4 slip in the No. 256 blank, then turn to page 65 and copy it again and then refer back to page 22 to confirm” then on to the next step- without- I- kid- you -not taking a breath. “Wait” I shouted “I haven’t found page 65, and I can’t find my T4 slip –it fell on the floor” This had no effect, the voice did not stop. As I grappled on the floor all the other papers followed too –a veritable waterfall of tax forms and the voice still went on in an exorable monotone… I burst into tears at this point and sobbed as I haven’t since my heart was broken in the early fifties. This outburst shocked me very much. That the Taxation Department could have such an extreme effect on me as to create an emotional crisis equal to heartbreak was very disturbing. I finally controlled my sobs, took some aspirin to control my pounding headache, and said to myself “Laurie, there exist infinitely wise people in comfortable offices who will politely do all this for a mere sixty bucks- are you out of your mind?” I did just that and was happy. But just recently another friend gave me access to a computer program to file my own for free. I have had this program for a while now and occasionally glance at it askance and skeptically. Am I going to use it? Ahhh dear readers -that is the million dollar question. I am sorry I will not answer it, but will keep you in suspense ---- Happy Taxation time to you too.