BLOG# 60 UNPREDICTABLE PAST

From on the unpredictable, suspect, probably false, nostalgic path. As you dear readers are very aware, one of my favourite pastimes is walking down the paths of nostalgia- my own life or anyone else-be it in old black and white movies, in life magazines of the 1930 to 1950 issues dreamingly browsing through the photos and ruminating on such iconic images as the famous photo of the homecoming sailor from the wars kissing the lovely blonde girl in white with her stocking seams straight and her body bent back almost double in ecstasy- an image that encapsulates all that needs to be said about the rapture felt at the end of that horrible and deprived time-, or the images of emaciated models in 1920 Vogue fashion magazines. However, in the past few weeks while getting ready to leave home on an exciting and strenuous trip to Turkey- yes- your wandering blog gist is on the move again- I have been unaccountably living in a nostalgic blur of my past life- my childhood and youth, but especially my childhood-perhaps a sign of a deteriorating mind- and have been noticing a highly suspicious tendency to improve and change my memories as I wander through this nostalgic path. This tendency is insidiously changing my own version of my past which I mistakenly thought of as "Cast in stone" This is very disconcerting. I am busily trying to change my viewpoint on all my hard won justifications of past neurosis and failures, a favourite viewpoint where I, with the help of my psychologist ,busily blame all these negatives on my parents, teachers, the environment or what have you. I now am trying to rearrange my nostalgic past again to make me appear in a satisfactory light. All this busyness in remanufacturing my past to meet my approval has kept me very preoccupied and away from my beloved typewriter and this blog is a gentle reminder to all of you from your Auntie blogger to be aware of the insidiousness of walking down the seductive nostalgic path as it is unpredictable, and can put you in the same place I am in, which is doubting my own remembered past-a precarious place to be. I will now close this rambling blog and will hopefully continue in a more interesting environment-Turkey- for the next one

BLOG # 59 YUMMMM TAX TIME

Yummm- My favourite- Tax time! Yes, dear readers, it has happened again- my favourite time of the year- as sure as taxes itself- Tax Time. As you can imagine, I have a long and loving relationship with the taxation department- probably the most consistent relationship of my life. It started in my early twenties. I believe the first time I filed one was when I was working in Montreal in the fifties. Yes, taxation existed even in that ancient time-I must have done the filing on my own-it is all rather in the dim past- but the reason I remember is that I was planning a long extended trip to Europe and being a good Canadian I filed my taxes before I left. I spent the next six months in carefree bliss hitching hiking around Europe with my friend and when the money was depleted returned to London to work. I then picked up my mail from the American express- that is what we did in those “olden times” dear readers- no emails, no computers. With the mail were several letters from the Quebec provincial taxation office complete with a court order to show up. The amount was $1.89. I had made a mistake- a habit I have continued faithfully to this day whenever I am foolish enough to do my own taxes-and the tax department demanded instant payment. I wrote a long letter of explanation along with a postal note for the amount – I can’t remember what I had to pay for this transaction, but I remember adding up the postage stamps the taxation office spent on their notices and it equaled the amount owing. The next few years I resided in Greece so had no further interaction with this institution and when I returned to Canada I used a professional service- the only irritation I had was I could not claim childcare expenses though having to support my family. When I retired it seemed prudent to do my own again and my dear friend told me the taxation office had a new program one could use by phone which was free! All you had to do was follow instructions and they would walk you through the procedure and so I decided to do it. Well dear readers, there I was, phone in one hand, volumes of tax papers in the other, and T-slips, bills etc falling on the floor. The program was taped- no patient understanding human voice - just a monotone consistent one giving me instructions to put “T-4 slip in the No. 256 blank, then turn to page 65 and copy it again and then refer back to page 22 to confirm” then on to the next step- without- I- kid- you -not taking a breath. “Wait” I shouted “I haven’t found page 65, and I can’t find my T4 slip –it fell on the floor” This had no effect, the voice did not stop. As I grappled on the floor all the other papers followed too –a veritable waterfall of tax forms and the voice still went on in an exorable monotone… I burst into tears at this point and sobbed as I haven’t since my heart was broken in the early fifties. This outburst shocked me very much. That the Taxation Department could have such an extreme effect on me as to create an emotional crisis equal to heartbreak was very disturbing. I finally controlled my sobs, took some aspirin to control my pounding headache, and said to myself “Laurie, there exist infinitely wise people in comfortable offices who will politely do all this for a mere sixty bucks- are you out of your mind?” I did just that and was happy. But just recently another friend gave me access to a computer program to file my own for free. I have had this program for a while now and occasionally glance at it askance and skeptically. Am I going to use it? Ahhh dear readers -that is the million dollar question. I am sorry I will not answer it, but will keep you in suspense ---- Happy Taxation time to you too.