This is what was said to me as I was going on and on the other day about my dissatisfaction with myself “The trouble with you is when you talk your brain is not engaged, you open your mouth and everything comes tumbling out, you are then in trouble and you can’t go back and unsay it- It is out there, hence you are in difficulty”. What difficulty? How can one not be engaged with one’s brain? Having said that let me go back to my dissatisfaction. The point is I want to go to Vancouver to the art gallery, walk down memory lanes, but above all to be alone, so promptly I phone my friends to tell them of my plans-thereby underlining the fact of my brain nonengagement. The outcome of all this is everyone wants to join me. What to do? I want to be alone and I want to see my friends, but above all I don’t want them to think badly of me, so I say nothing and spend the whole night trying to figure out how I can juggle being alone walking down memory lane and at the same time be with my friends so as not to offend them. That is, have my cake and eat it too. The upshot of all this was a sleepless night and a great sense of worthlessness as I went off to join my longsuffering friend for coffee and bored him with a long meandering tale of my “self dissatisfaction” thereby earning the comment-pithy enough “the trouble with you is when you talk your brain is not engaged and you find yourself in these messes”. Why didn’t he just say” say naught “not that he would under any circumstance say the word “naught” and leave my poor brain alone! Dear reader, why can’t I stop rambling on about my poor brain and why can’t I get my elusive cursor to go to the end of the line? I’ve spent half an hour trying to get it to obey me! I think I best bid you a frustrated goodnight and go to bed.
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