H--- S---!#5

h---- s--- H--- s---! Well what do you know, I've just discovered something sublime, an invention so wonderful it is up there with the invention of the wheel or perhaps the invention of certain feminine products! It is a little feature in the Word Pad ,a little symbol that you click on and it  corrects your spelling and grammar mistakes! I click on this symbol and suddenly my paragraph is covered with squiggly red lines just like my essays in grade four on which the teacher has scrawled in  red ink lines, a big "D" and "PUNCTUATION!!" PLEASE” all over them. What happened recently is that a friend came over while I was typing, leaned over my shoulder and gently pointed the mouse to the top line of the WordPad and clicked on the funny little symbols and cute little pictures. Like magic all these symbols and cute little pictures turned into my ready and willing unpaid servants who exist just to do my bidding. All I have to do is click on them and they correct my spelling, correct my grammar and best of all even correct the spacing between my words. There even is a dictionary at my disposal! But best of all, I have my own personal dictionary in which I can put in my own words … this means I can put in words that I like such as “malleollicious which I can use  without it being rejected. The keyboard bows down to a superior force-that’s me- and humbly prints it despite it’s misgivings! Now I have always known I was born in an enlightened age(in spite of the hourly T.V.news)and am a living proof of it. Am I not with my new hip replacement tripping lightly to and fro from my apartment to the liquor store, the library, the delelicatessan and the video store in search of my basic needs? Don’t I know that when the lights dim in my lovely green eyes, I can have a five minute cataract surgery and then will be able to see the world with the fresh eyes of a new born babe? Can I not get in touch with any of my beloveds anytime anywhere even in the lady’s dress department change room at the “Bay” in the  down town mall with my brand new HI-tech. cell phone? Yes! Yes! And Yes! But THIS, dear reader, this, as my little Yorkshire friend Jess says ,“Dis caps D’lot!”