One of the first passengers to get on were a couple-they were young -perhaps in their twenties. They were unremarkable, neither beautiful nor unattractive, neither fashionably dressed nor shabby-an ordinary couple. They did not sit down but instead stood hanging unto the pole near the driver and in perfect view for me to watch. At first I watched idly as I did others but suddenly my attention sharpened. She was dressed in the usual uniform of a young women ; black tights, flat shoes, no socks , a loose casual black jacket. Her hair was in the current top knot with a few strands escaping. Her features were regular and pleasant, rather plain and she wore little make-up and she was obviously on her way home after a busy day carrying a grocery bag for dinner.
The young man was also in the uniform of the current young man;very understated, wearing a close fitting jacket and jeans. He was slight in build with a narrow bearded face. He was not handsome but as he leaned casually against the window you could see he had a nice trim body- In short they were two ordinary nice young people.
Why am I describing these very ordinary people so completely? Why was I even focusing on this very ordinary couple? I asked myself this too- then I started to recognize why. This couple was actually extraordinary. They were communicating -I could see that. They were not flirting,they were not on cellphones but they were smiling and also conversing. They were not shutting out everything around them, self involved, but were conversing . And it occurred to me one rarely sees this- people conversing and being absorbed in each other and still aware of their surroundings and I could see they were obviously in love. I will try to describe why. She-much shorter - would be looking up at him and saying something. He would be looking down at her, his eyes following her mouth as she talked, smiling slightly, nodding. Then he would reply still smiling as she looked up watching his eyes and closely following his words, then they would be silent a few minutes; he would readjust his grip on the pole she would look out the window for a few minutes then they would continue talking - either one or the other saying one thing and the other listening with a slight smile nodding in agreement and pleasure, very attentive,sometimes serious but not tense. It was a pleasure to watch them.
They did not act like lovers but I knew they were just by noticing how they leaned into each other and were really seeing each other with caressing eyes as they talked. It was a loving dialogue between two people.
While I watched I imagined what they were talking about. Was she describing something that happened at work? Were they discussing some issues of a good friend who was in difficulty? Maybe how their plans for decorating the kitchen was working out? On the whole the conversations were gentle so it wouldn't be about decorating as they were always in nodding agreement. No, not decorating. I decided they were discussing some mutual friends and what they were going to buy for their dinner.
So why was I so interested in this couple? Was it so unusual to see two people having extended conversations ? Yes it is. I often watch couples interacting-on buses, in coffee shops- Quite often there is silence boredom and even hostility but no obvious understanding. Quite often one person is monopolizing the conversation -I am guilty of that myself but rarely is there loving conversation or even flirting. I do not include the current popular public interacting method -the cell phone of course as means of communicating.
I watched this couple somewhat idly for the next half hour as they gently and confidently interacted and realized I was lucky. What a nice New Year gift! -to witness and celebrate the gift of understanding loving communication on New Year Eve= If we have to make a resolution let's take this loving ordinary couple as an example and resolve to practice loving understanding communication in 2019. Lord knows we need that!
The couple left the bus after another half hour cheerfully thanking the bus driver and walked down the street to their destination not knowing that in their quiet way they had moved another human being to resolve to do better in the new year and of course more importantly, helped me celebrate because I got off the bus half hour later with a happy light heart. Happy New Year !
it is. I often watch couples interacting. Quite often there is only silence-which is fine or not or there is non-understanding of sorts and sometimes hostility. Usually one person is monopolizing the conversation-i have been guilty of that myself..
