BLOGG #93 TODAY I BOUGHT A RING!

I do not wear rings -I don't even like them and haven't worn one since I lost my wedding ring in 1975, but today I bought one. I was coming home on the ferry from Vancouver after attending an art show and was ,as always, in my favourite place- the Gift Shop- buying yet another fashion magazine and saw next to the cashier a display of bright rather gaudy rings with lovely plastic stones looking all the world like Bulgari rings as worn by Kate Moss in advertisements. They were designed by a local artist, were $29.95 each, and were adjustable.I felt a bolt of desire going through me and knew I had to buy one. The decision to choose the right one was very intense and I enlisted the cashier to help me which she did enthusiastically. I chose a muted blush stone with black markings the cashier adjusted it to my finger size and I was pleased. As I sat on a stool by the window looking out at the lovely scenery of Active Pass going by, I pondered on why this impulsive purchase was so necessary and why the desire was so strong. I remembered my beloved niece telling me a short time ago that she loved fine jewellery especially diamonds and finally realized she would have to wait forever to get one from someone else so decided the one to buy her diamonds was herself and she did look lovely with her delicate pendant and earrings. Perhaps this was my motivation and this was a symbolic act which I need to fathom. For the past few months I have been meditating on the passage of time and it's importance in my life right now, for I am a few months away from the most pivotal, pinnacled birthday of my life-the great 80th! There are several pivotal ones;the 16th -"never been kissed" -the dreaded 30th-on the eve of which we turn into a dull rigid adult and leave youth forever- the 40th- a wonderful one where "life is just beginning" and very true for me and the mind jolting 50th when one realizes we have been on this planet half a century and it is "down hill" from now on. The 60's and 70's of course prove this all wrong and we just live happily if we are lucky, but the 80th is the big one. Here we know that we have reached the end of the feeling that life stretches on forever and we can count the possible years left to us. Anything after 80 is a gift. Mind you, from the day we were born each day was a gift but we never realize it. Now we have to and I have been very aware of the brief remainder of my life and have been pondering how I was going to choose to live these precious gift days. I have been slowly coming to the decision that I must live every moment now just doing what pleases me most-daring thought- and above all be true to myself [actually this should be ingrained in us at birth] and that I must be always committed to myself to do just that if at all possible. Ahhhh! The big C !! Of course that is what this ring is all about! It is my engagement ring. I have never had one. When I was young I was too independent and enlightened and did not want to be part of that "enslaving diamond engagement ring" custom. Also I was never asked - that is another point. However this time I am engaged to me and I take this engagement seriously.The time allotted to me after 8o will be mine to be used very mindfully by me. And I ask you dear readers to run out and get a ring to commit to yourselves too-It is the most meaningful relationship commitment of your life.